A Little Piece of Myself

Lately, I haven't been getting out of the house a lot. Well, if you count going to places via the car, then yeah. I've been out of the house a lot. What I mean is that, for the past few months, I haven't been out in the fresh air for more than five minutes. And those five minutes consist of getting out of my car and getting right back in.

I realized how sick I was of always being indoors yesterday. It was a day off from school, since the juniors and sophomores were taking the PSAT. I was writing a college essay (what else?) and suddenly, I felt like I hit a writer's block. I had nothing. Everything I wrote came out bland and stupid--as if someone else was writing it. I hated the feeling because the words on the screen didn't feel like mine.

Usually, when I hit writer's block, I go on the internet and surf for a while. I watch some YouTube videos, some episodes of my favorite TV shows, and go back to work. This time, however, I felt a sudden revulsion towards my computer. Like, I despised it.

I couldn't be near it for another second. In fact, I couldn't be in my room, the second floor, my house, for another second. All I knew was that I needed to get the hell away from that computer. So, before I thought too much about it, I donned my light jacket and shoes and left my house to take a short walk.

A short walk turned into a long walk. A walk that lasted for about an hour. I wandered around Cherry Hills, my earbuds playing soft music. It was odd--being outside when I haven't been in a long time. And as I walked, among yellow and orange leaves that fell around me, I found inspiration for my essay. And so much more.

I started thinking about my life. Started thinking about me. Started thinking about my character, my personality, my wants, and my goals. How far I've come and how far I'll go. It was the in-depth, gritty self-reflection that I was lacking throughout my entire college essay process. I can't tell you how it felt when I returned to my house, face slightly flushed from the brisk wind. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like I discovered a little hidden piece of myself.

Other senior students in Non-Fiction Writing have mentioned this in their blog. How hard it is to find yourself. And I totally agree with them. It's difficult, even painful, to look deep inside yourself and understand what you see. Because we pass most of our lives doing mundane things. Going to school, doing our homework, studying for tests. Sometimes, we're so busy that we forget to self-reflect.

And self-reflection is important. When you reflect on your past, present, and future, I think you discover things about yourself that perhaps weren't so obvious before. Things that were on your outer perspective that you've never noticed before. It's what separates us from each other. It's what makes each of us unique.

I don't know if the process of self-reflection is the same for everyone. I achieved a bit of myself by taking a simple walk in a nice, windy day. But it's definitely necessary. So, I challenge you, the reader, to get up from your computers and phones, and go find a little piece of yourself. I promise you won't regret it.